Over the past few weeks Canada has been getting hit with some cold weather, and with that came the snow. This miserable weather provided us with some heavy disgusting snow, and for many Canadians, it ruined parts of their day. They had to spend minutes of their day cleaning snow off their cars and wait for them to warm up. They had to dust off the snow blowers from last year to clear snow off the driveway. They even had to use their phones to call in to their places of employment and ask to work from home because the commute was so treacherous. For those of you thinking of us in your prayers, thank-you, we do appreciate it.
But while my countrymen were complaining about these conditions, as a gym bro, I was seeing nothing but potential for some sick gains. You see, I don’t just go to a gym. The world is my gym. You put me anywhere on the planet and I guarantee you I’ll find a way to get a pump. Some call me crazy for this, but they called Steve Jobs crazy too.
When mother nature gave us this thic white power my heart started racing (snow not cocaine). Being the visionary I am, I saw potential for several juicy pumps to be had, let me explain them to you.
Triceps Pump: This snow was wet. It wasn’t that winter wonderland lets have fun with the whole family kinda snow. It was the gross, I’m all wet, let’s slip on the neighbour’s sidewalk and sue them for all they have kinda snow. But the wetter the better when it comes to the triceps pump. Pushing the snow with your shovel activates the triceps. The action of pushing then lifting the snow works the various branches of the triceps. Only problem is I’m not coordinated enough to push with my left hand, only the right. So, my right arm got the pump and my left didn’t. But it doesn’t bother me being a little lopsided. I mean I rather be lopsided than small.
Ab Pump: I don’t even know if this is a thing because I can’t see my abs. So, I guess you could call it core activation instead. Pushing the snow, lifting it up on the shovel, and dropping in on the neighbour’s driveway requires tons of core activation. It was an entire core workout. Rotating with the snow on my shovel works the oblique and lower and upper abdominals. Talk about some sick gains.
Bicep Pump: Load the shovel with snow and get to curling. Curling a shovel with snow on it is like curling in the squat rack. It’s unnecessary, but I do it anyway. I’ve often thought the best workouts are the ones you use your whole body for. And by whole body I mean arms. Get the bicep pump, then stand back and admire your veins.
Cardio Pump?: I think it would just be cardio since I guess your blood is always pumping. Burn some calories and get a sweat going then sleep like a baby knowing you’ve done your one cardio workout for the month.
Good Deed pump: Be a good citizen and shovel your neighbour’s driveway. You get the gains for yourself, and even if they didn’t ask you to do it, they will owe you one for it. You can call this chip in whenever you need. Oh, the boys are “being too loud” and it’s a “Wednesday” night. Remember that time I shoveled your driveway? Yah boys the party is still going.
Soon to be “Johnny Two Plates”